confusion?

yes i couldn't live without blogging hence i am back.

with current super pack hectic life in uni,

i took some time off to think,

is it worth going for so much?

in life i have been always wanting the best and to be the best
best in every aspect.
i always dream to be on top of everything,
during school days, i always strive to lead, wanting to grab the highest post i could go for, wanting to be influential, wanting to prove that i am not just a girl.
due to that the passion drives me so much till i neglected my studies and ended up crying for days.

and now, a year ago, i told myself and was advised to stop and focus on getting the first class degree as i manage to do well in STPM.
but then the little devil in me just can't settle down.
and i took up some obligation along the way and recently was offered to take up a bigger role which a lot of encouragement was given by others to accept it.
the exposure in the role is so rich i was so tempted by it.

however, i did stop and think.
it's something i yearn to achieve all these while.
but i doubt my taking on it.
i wanted it so much but i choose to say no to it.

=/
is this the correct path?